Control Freak
by RuthLeilani
Summary: Tony has got severe intimacy issues, when he looses it and hurts a firend, some explanations are due. hurt/comfort, Gibbs/DiNozzo friendship, mentions of child abuse and bananarama, that's a warning
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:** special thanks to **XX-Samantha-XX**, who was the beta for this story and contributed some insights in the proper use of the english language and a lot of motivation

**Disclaimer:** The characters of NCIS do not belong to me, neither do the incredible Sue White, the Atonement or Bananarama

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Chapter 1:

**Control Freak**

The chase could _not _be considered a success, definitely not. Sure, they got the perp in the end, but it wasn't enough. The colateral damage caused was not acceptable. Special Agent Tony DiNozzo was in a rather sorry state.

Soaking wet, after running through the roaring storm, concussed, bruised, quite shaken and in a state of mild shock.

He was changing out of his soggy clothes, and was relieved that he always had some spare ones at work. He was having trouble buttoning his new shirt though; he couldn't seem to be able to prevent his hands from shaking violently.

He was feeling utterly miserable and exhausted, at this point, not even overly bothered by the steady stare of his boss. Gibbs was not leaving him out of his sight for even a moment, determined to force him to get examined and tended to by Ducky.

Suddenly Abby came bursting in, accompanied by an air of panic, immediately fussing over Tony. Actually, she all but threw herself at him, in a grinding embrace from behind, causing the startled man to shrink back.

"Tony, Tony, Tony, you're here! You're o.k.!?" the young lab tech sputtered, turning to face him and tightening the hug.

"Abby" he said weakly, trying to free himself from the clasping woman. She wouldn't let go, she had been scared for her friend and being her hyper, but deeply caring self, she was determined to make a big fuss about Tony.

"Anthony DiNozzo! Don't you dare do this to me. You're mine, you know that ?" she told him in mock severity, trying to convey how much she cared for him and how relieved she was to find him somewhat fine.

"_Anthony DiNozzo! Don't you dare do this to me. You're mine, you know that ?"_

The words she used affected Tony deeply, he had heard them before. Arousing memories, he had chosen to hide very deep, where he almost never had to think about them again, wishing nothing more, than to dispose of them. The words hurt him; it felt as if a knife was being driven deep within his chest and twisted just so it would hurt more.

He felt confined, smothered by the exuberant scientist.

"Please, let go of me!" he pleaded.

But still Abby didn't let go, noting his trembling hands, which still clutched at the open buttons of his shirt, she purred "Baby, come on, I'll do that for you!" starting to take hold of his shirt.

At this Tony panicked. He was hurting and confused, he felt overwhelmed, and now his mind went blank, pure fear rising up within him. The feeling creeping upon him was totally wrong. Suddenly, the urge to escape took over. He desperately pushed the clinging woman away from him, striking her nose with his elbow in the movement. Surprised by the push and the hurting knock against her face, Abby fell backwards onto the floor, nearly splitting her head open as it impacted the ground.

Tony just stared down at Abby. At first he didn't seem to even recognize her.

Immediately Gibbs, who had watched the whole scene unfold in front of him, sprang to life. "What the hell?!" he yelled out, moving to the side of his fallen lab tech. This brought Tony back to reality, realising what he had done to his friend. Raw emotions washed over him and could be seen crossing over his face: despair, guilt and finally, shame.

He turned around on his heels and ran out of the room.

XXXXX

He tried to get away as fast as possible and as far away as possible. He had screwed up royally this time. He had hit Abby, the always caring, endearing, beloved Abby. What a mess. Gibbs would have his head for hurting her, and he would be right in doing so. He had been totally out of his mind, doing something so incredibly stupid.

Upon reaching the lobby of NCIS headquarters, he passed the security guards, without even noticing them, on his way out. He just went on, oblivious to his surrounding, just trying to get away. It was dark outside, the storm still raging relentlessly, the rain immediately soaking him to the skin again.

Than it hit him. The cause for his actions, the feelings that had him in a panic. Rising for a second time, the feelings caused him to become nauseas. He doubled over at the side of a road and puked his soul out.

XXXXX

Abby had seen the emotions on Tony's face. Tears sprung to her eyes, when she turned to Gibbs after Tony had ran away. As she was starting to voice her shock, her concern and her guilt, one of Gibbs hostile, stern looks kept her silent. The Senior Agent hissed, trying hard to control his own shock that was mostly mixed with anger, but also concern. "You. Ducky. Now." He helped her stand, and led her decisively to Autopsy.

"Good night Jethro, dear Abigail, what can I do for you?" the good natured ME greeted them, when they entered, taking a closer look at the pair he was momentarily startled at Abby's unravelled appearance.

"Could you please have a look at her, Duck, she got hit." He led her to sit on one of the steel tables, so the doctor could examine her. He waited silently, while Ducky proceeded.

"It's fine. Nothing is broken. It probably will hurt for a while, but you will heal just fine, my dear." He declared after finishing his check up. "What happened, may I ask?"

"Oh Gibbs, don't be mad at him, it wasn't his fault! It was mine." Abby burst out finally.

"Ya think?" Gibbs retorted harshly, not leaving a doubt that he had come to the same conclusion. Now the tears fell freely from her eyes.

"Hell Abby, you know he's uncomfortable with that kind of displayed affection, he even asked you to stop it. Why didn't you let go of him?"

"Well, I thought he would need it. I had no idea he would freak like that. I thought he was just playing hard to get, to tease me. I thought it would be fine."

"No! Clearly, you did not think!"

"No, no, I didn't... We have to fix this. We have to find him."

"I will find him."

"But I have, I have to apologize. I will come with you."

"No Abbs, I think you have done enough for today." Than he added, softer now, with the affection he felt for his distressed favorite Goth girl, winning over the frustration the whole situation caused him: "You'll get your chance, okay? I promise. Stay with Ducky now, please."

She nodded obediently, sniffing away her still flowing tears. "Go find him bossman, and tell him that I'm really, really sorry!"

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**Author's Note:** This is my second story and there will be 5 chapters. More is coming up.

reviews are appreciated, reviews are great, I cheer for reviews - Please review!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

_Please, let me keep it_

_I found it flayed and shy_

_I tended its wounds_

_And now it's tame_

_Look, it has lost its way_

_I learned its language_

_I went after it_

_And now it follows me_

_I keep it safe in my hands_

_And I sleep till dawn_

_With my back to the wall_

_(translated lyrics__, song by Wir sind Helden)_

XXXXX

Gibbs finally spotted a dark figure walking at the side of the road in front of him. It was dark, windy and the rain was pouring down in buckets. His sight was limited to only a few meters. This was definitely the worst possible weather for a stroll. He found his stray Senior Field Agent with the help of the new computer wizz McGee, and the miracle of GPS-positioning. He silently thanked once again for DiNozzo's habit of literally never abandoning his cell, come hell or high water.

He stopped the car right behind the walking man, got out and called "Tony!"

Said agent paused and turned for a moment, but then continued on his path. Gibbs went after him; albeit slowly so he wouldn't scare the young man. He could see that the condition of the young Agent had not improved. His eyes were glassy, he was shaking violently and he dragged himself forward, rather than walking.

This whole situation was one giant mess and Gibbs felt frustrated and anger boiled up inside him. He wished he could just head slap DiNozzo back to his senses, give him an order to get in the car, and how satisfying simple it would be to drag the reluctant Agent into the car by force. Considering his experience with a confused and hurting DiNozzo and the reaction displayed about an hour ago, this would probably cause more harm than good though. He had to tread carefully here.

When he caught up with him he asked, "Tony, what happened?" There was a long pause till he got a small, desperate answer:

"I lost control."

Gibbs put a hand on his friends shoulder, keeping a firm but gentle hold, when the other winced away.

"I'm sorry, really, really sorry!" Tony's voice was hoarse and shaking.

"It's okay. Easy." He tried to calm the man who struggled away from him: "It's okay, I won't hurt you."

Now the young man gave him a surprised look, "You won't punish me? I hurt Abby! I think you probably should."

"No, I won't." his answer resolute.

Tony was not thinking coherently anymore, he became more agitated: "I have to go, go away. Leave me alone. I have to be alone."

"No, you don't have to be alone. Let me help you, you're hurt."

"I have to be alone!" the other cried out.

"Tony, this is a mess. I think we should go back to the car, get someplace dry and warm." he placated, trying to calm Tony down.

"You can't make me." It was angry and defiant.

"No, I can not and I will not. But I will wait until you are ready to; and I will follow you." _I just hope you'll be ready before you die out here_, he added in his head. For once the other man now looked like he was barely holding on to consciousness.

They hadn't moved that far from where he had left the car, maybe, 10 meters, if that. Tony really wasn't in a fit state. Gibbs headed back to the car and waited sitting in the driver's seat. He really hoped this would work and that Tony would decide that it was safe, and that it would be right to get into the car. Basically it was his only option, apart from collapsing. He just waited; it was a hard test to his patience.

He could see that Tony was fighting a battle himself. He was barely keeping up on his feet, he could see him shaking even from this distance, and he also swayed. He knelt down for a moment, clutching his head with both hands, at this point Gibbs nearly jumped out of the car again, but he managed to come up again by himself. He seemed to be struggling with himself or maybe his demons. Finally he turned and followed his boss to the car and dropped himself in the passenger seat.

He had a smile on his face when he turned to Gibbs. The damn smile nearly broke the heart of the senior agent. You could believe it. He could still see the exhaustion, the hurt and the despair in his friend, but this smile was believable, a perfect mask.

"What happens now?" the voice was forced to sound steady but only by pure will. Gibbs almost missed the fear and the defeat that resonated with the question. _Almost._

"What do you want to happen?"

"I don't care. I just want to rest for a while." Yes, defeat it was.

XXXXX

When they arrived at Gibb's house Tony had fallen asleep. Gibbs was worried about the concussion and was truly relieved when he was able to wake up his Senior Field Agent. He had called Ducky from the car and asked him to drop by and have a look at the young man.

Tony managed to head inside on his own two feet only slightly stumbling and only falling down once, but passionate on assuring Gibbs that he wouldn't need help. Gibbs sighed; again he needed to push down his own frustrations, and led Tony to sit on his couch.

He set up some water on the stove to prepare tea. Tony had been suffering form mild hypothermia back at headquarters, before everything had gone to hell, and his recent getaway in the pouring rain surely had not helped. He then got some dry clothes that would fit Tony.

"You can change into these, and you can take a shower, you know where the bathroom is." He said before he went to change into something dry himself. When he came back down to finish the tea, he found Tony hadn't moved at all.

"Hey, you have to get out of the wet clothes, you'll catch pneumonia. You want me to help?" But when he came close to him, Tony suddenly fended him off impetuously.

"No, no I'll do it myself. Please!" Again with the pleading, Jethro wondered what tormented his Agent like that. This time he started to change, being more successful with the t-shirt, than with the shirt earlier.

He was finally sitting, wrapped up in a blanket, a cup of tea in his hand, on the couch, when Ducky entered, closely followed by Abby.

On seeing her Tony lost it again. He dropped his cup, fell over, when he struggled to free himself from the blanket, and took flight to the other side of the room, trying to at least put as much furniture between him and the woman as possible, decisively not facing her. He was short of breath from the fear of seeing her again.

"Tony!" she cried out desperately, shocked again by his reaction. But Gibbs stepped in her way, shielding Tony from her, "Abbs, please, this is not the right time." He gave her another patented Gibbs glare, which actually made her fold. "Take the sedan and go home, we will talk tomorrow." He placed a kiss on her forehead and sent her away. With a longing look and tears in her eyes she obeyed. "Bye."

"Oh, my. What is going on here, Jethro?" Ducky now openly showed his concern. Joining forces, they managed to calm Tony down again, who was beyond exhausted. The ME even managed to coax the younger man into allowing an examination.

He left Tony lying safely on the couch, tucked under the blanket once again. He had fallen asleep almost instantly. Ducky was ready to give Jethro a report.

"Well, our boy does have a concussion, but it is not especially severe, you know the drill: You'll have to wake him every two hours, and ask him the questions."

Gibbs nodded; they had been through this before.

"He is also a little bruised, exhausted and cold. Nothing to be deeply concerned about, it just calls for some peace and quiet, and plenty of rest. His state of mind, however..."

Gibbs frowned at the concern that was openly visible in the eyes of his older friend.

"I think we are witnessing some of young Anthony's demons resurfacing."

Jethro just nodded, trying to ignore the uneasy feeling which had taken hold of him, when he saw the desperate expression in Tony's eyes, when he tried to free himself from Abby in the first place. And now this, the air of utter defeat around his agent.

"Jethro! Jethro!"

"Hm, Duck, what is it?"

"You did not listen to what I just said. Well, I know you did a background check when you hired him and you have gotten to know him over the last few years."

"Yeah!" Gibbs felt a little guilty about zoning out while the doctor was talking.

"Yeah! It was covered up quite thoroughly and you are familiar with his kind of deflections. I do have an idea about what his so-called father did to him." Gibbs confirmed and nodded as if telling Ducky to continue.

"Well, maybe, there is more to the story than meets the eye? I may point out to you that it is young Abigail that caused him to be in this rather unsettled state today."

Jethro closed his eyes in silent horror, trying to detach himself from the rising suspicions and implications. He had caught a glimpse of the deep scars that Tony carried around, some physically, but the most terrible ones on his mind. He feared to discover just how deep they actually went.

"What he needs now, is to talk."

"I'll try, Duck!"

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**Author's Note: **

Against common belief (I had some rather heated arguments with Italian friends) the German language is aesthetic, beautiful and can have a special flow. Here's proof. The song is "Darf ich das behalten" by Wir sind Helden

Darf ich das behalten

Ich hab's gefunden

zerschunden und lahm

Hab seine Wunden verbunden

Und jetzt ist es zahm

Siehst du es findet den Weg nicht mehr

Ich kann seine Sprache,

Ich lauf hinter ihm her und dann

Läuft es mir nach und ich

Halt es geborgen in meiner Hand

Schlaf bis zum Morgen

Mit dem Rücken zur Wand

**A cheer for your reviews! Keep them reviews coming, please! There will be more tomorrow!  
**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3:**

For the next two hours Jethro just sat next to him, watching over the sleeping man. He tried to form a plan, tried to anticipate the confrontation, but failed.

After waking him and making sure he was orientated to person, place and time, Tony immediately fell asleep again and Gibbs went down into the basement to work on the boat. He needed to collect himself. Still he found himself regularly heading upstairs again to check on his charge. He noticed that sleep had started to become uneasy for DiNozzo, he started stirring, tossing slightly, moaning every now and then, but he still needed the rest.

The second time upon waking Tony was more lucid, not oblivious to his surrounding anymore.

"You can go upstairs, the bed in the guest room is already made up, might be more comfortable than the couch."

"Thanks." But he didn't move; he just stared up at the ceiling.

"Boss? You working on the boat?"

"Yeah."

"Good."

Before leaving him, Gibbs steeled himself, remembering what his Senior Field Agent had shouted before during his futile quest to walk away and said,

"You know, you don't have to be alone, Tony."

So Gibbs headed down again, resuming the work. About half an hour later, it was around midnight now, he heard footsteps, not going upstairs but following him into the basement. Tony sat down on the lonely chair next to the workbench. Gibbs shot him a look acknowledging his presence.

Tony still looked like crap, his face was ashen, his eyes clouded and bloodshot, his hands still shaking silently. Gibbs braced himself for what was coming, he had made the decision to handle this and failing was not an option, not in this case. He waited.

When Tony started to speak his voice seemed light.

"I got this new DVD set last week, it's great. British comedy – Green Wing. It's hilarious." He chuckled lightly, just thinking about the crazy stuff. "There is this personal relations officer and she is a real 'nutter', one time she wears this squirrel costume…" Gibbs turned around giving him a stare. Realising who he was talking to, Tony smiled. "You'd probably hate it!"

"Ya think, DiNozzo?"

_Seriously?_ He was talking about TV comedy, well; it was close enough to his usual movie references, but _seriously?_ If he was going to talk sports or weather, Gibbs would have to reconsider his idea of just hitting the young man.

Silence descended upon room again, until Tony could no longer keep quiet.

"Do you know the film The Atonement? It's directed by Joe Wright, Keira Knightly and James McAvoy are in it." So now with the movies.

"Nope."

"Or maybe you know the book? It's based on a novel by Ian McEwan. You must know him, he is quite famous, or maybe you read one of his other books? The Cement Garden or On Chesil Beach…"

"Yeah, that one."

"Really, did you like it?"

"DiNozzo, I'm kidding! I don't know it, okay?" he gave him a lopsided grin.

"Oh… Well in this film is this guy James McAvoy, Robbie, he is with the British Army in France during World War II. After the Germans got the upper hand in the Battle of Dunkirk, they are falling back. So he walks, and never stops walking, to reach the shore, where he can get a boat back to England. He has been through a lot of crap, being in prison for a rape he did not commit, and he does not share this much with his girl anyway, two days and some letters. Though he never stops walking towards his one true love back home, he keeps on walking till he dies." He fell still again, obviously thinking hard.

"I surely did not get that far walking today, did I? Maybe it was because I wasn't walking towards anything." He finally added his voice barely above a whisper. Gibbs turned again to face him.

"So why did you run away in the first place?"

Tony looked at him in shock, surely he was used to his boss being blunt, but _that _blunt?

"I told you, I lost control."

"What happened?"

Tony was now starting to become agitated, he was fidgeting in his chair, finally standing up and resting his forehead and his forearms against the wall. It looked like he was trying to vanish into it.

"Ducky's advice is that you should talk about it. You should. You can. I can take it. It will help, I want to help!" Jethro tried to put as much confidence, affection and care into the words as possible.

Finally Tony spoke again, his voice conversational like before, like when he was talking about the movie. Anyone listening to him could have thought it to be just another description of a movie scene. But Gibbs knew that it was more than that.

"My mother was a society lady from head to toe; her greatest pleasure was to keep up appearances. I think she was proud of me; she used to take me with her to her parties and functions, and showed me off to her friends. I didn't like those kinds of events very much, I was paraded around, had to behave, obviously something I didn't enjoy very much either. But it made her happy, so I did it, it was an opportunity to be around her, so I took it."

Gibbs heart was aching, he might not say it outright, but being neglected by his parents had hurt the younger man deeply, it was not a surprise how desperate the adult Tony was for even the smallest sign of attention. He could picture the young boy, dressed up, the looks and manners going for him even at a young age, being lost and alone at some fancy high-society ball.

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**Author's Note:** Stay tuned for scenes form our next chapter ;-) The conversation will continue, more will be revealed.

I love your reviews. Thank you.

I really would like to hear your opinion on this, so hit the review button again!


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4:**

"It mustn't have been easy on her, my father; he is a difficult man…" Tony shuddered at the thought. He turned, leaning against the wall. His posture stiff, his face showing a mixed display of fear and agony.

"Considering what happened after she was gone, when she wasn't there anymore to care for appearance … I owe her a lot."

Gibbs gut was rebelling on the thought of what might have happened. He knew that his father had disowned him at age of twelve, washing his hands clean of the boy. He had some good hints that in the time before being disowned, Tony had pretty much been put through hell by the man.

"She began to drink quite a lot and started getting all the mood swings associated with being drunk."

Tony dropped his head and let himself slide down the wall to sit. He rested his arms on his knees and hid his face.

"Sometimes I wouldn't see her for days. In her drunken states she could get quite irascible, once she didn't even recognise me." He shot a look at Gibbs for a moment, showing that he still could not believe that it had happened. He started to shake more violently now.

"There were other times, though. I think she must have been quite lonely, so she kept me around a lot. More parties and functions, but also when she went into the club, shopping or when she went to her cosmetician. I did try really hard to fill in, but I…" A small sob escaped the young Agent.

_I disappointed her. You're worthless, you're a burden. You should never have been born. All you touch goes wrong, you ruin everything, you hurt everyone…_

The words his father had taught him echoed in his ears. He couldn't go there now, it was too painful. He would _not_ be able to take that now, not while the other words were still in his mind too.

_Anthony DiNozzo! Don't you dare do this to me. You're mine, you know__ that?_

He couldn't keep still; he rose to his feet and started pacing around.

_Anthony, you're mine._

Tears were now falling from his eyes, while he was trying to hold on to his control, not even aware that he wasn't alone. Gibbs stepped in his way; placing his hands on Tony's shoulders he looked him intensely in the eye

"Tony!" the tone making him remember where he was. Tony took a few deep breaths, reining in his twirling emotions. He resumed his position sitting at the bottom of the wall. This time Gibbs followed him, sitting down next to him, making sure that he didn't touch his friend but was close enough to at least offer some support.

"When she was like that, she was everywhere; she didn't leave me alone at all. She told me what to do, she just made me do it or she just did it herself!"

Gibbs was confused, there was a great deal of agony in Tony's voice now, but he didn't quite understand what his mother had done.

She had paraded him around like a status symbol; she had used him to fill in for the things she was missing in her lonely life. She had used him as a substitute. She had used him. Suddenly, Gibbs realised what Tony tried to tell him, he remembered something the young man had mentioned one day in the passing, making it sound like a joke, '_My mother dressed me in sailor suites until I was ten'._ He had assumed she had told him to wear them, but had she actually dressed him? Gibbs trembled.

"She dressed you in sailor suites until you were ten." He whispered in his new found understanding. Tony radiated the guilt and shame he was feeling, he had flushed, even his ears had turned a deep shade of red.

"Aww hell, Tony! Did she do other things too?"

Again tears streamed down Tony's face, admitting it was humiliating, embarrassing, he didn't know if he could face his boss ever again after this, but keeping it to himself hurt even more, it consumed him, tortured him. He had started to talk about it, when they had caught him by surprise, when he was exhausted and confused, now he didn't know if he would be able to stop.

His breathing had become more laboured, he was sweating, and he was shaking. Panic was rising in him. He struggled hard to keep the memories and words that were twirling in his head at bay, he couldn't let them take over, he would loose control again.

He had to keep a hold onto reality, onto where he was now. Like reaching for a lifeline, he reached for the hand of the man, who was sitting next to him, and took hold of it with both his hands. Having contact with someone, anyone, now, could maybe keep him from getting lost.

With a very small voice he said. "She dressed me, she bathed me, she spoon-fed me, she told me what to do, to say, to think. She took absolute control."

Finally he was thrown into a full blown panic-attack. He doubled over, hyperventilating, crying, and still clinging to Gibbs hands, like it was his last connection to sanity. Gibbs tried his best to hold onto him. He felt an iron band pull tight around his breast when he saw the deep sorrow in his friend. He mumbled calming words, giving him commands to breath. And slowly they got through the attack together.

Gibbs was horrified by the thought of what the parents had done to their son.

He had seen a troubled man when he had met the young detective back in Baltimore; a guy way to reckless and unsteady, but with tons of potential. Potential to become the best, even better than Gibbs himself. He had taken it upon himself to help the young man before him to live up to this potential and had tried to become a steady force in his life, teaching him, guiding him.

They had come along way over the last four years; they had built up trust and friendship. Tony was worth the effort, even though he still hadn't managed to get Tony to believe that yet. He just wished he could just take the heavy burdens off his friend. But he would not be able to fix him completely. He just had to accept what was, help Tony cope, and build up from there.

"Tony, are you listening to me?" He asked softly. He didn't get his reputation to be the best interrogator at NCIS for no reason, he knew when everything was out, and he knew when it wasn't.

"Was there more?"

Tony kept his eyes shut tight, but nodded again, "When she was really drunk it was worse." He could hear it in his voice, there was no way Tony would ever admit, what had happened when his mother had been really drunken, maybe he had pushed it so far away that he didn't know himself, but he felt it and it hurt like hell.

"Now listen to me carefully, Tony. It was not your fault!"

Tony looked at him, studied him for a while. Gibbs gave him a gaze that conveyed his sincerity, the most convincing he could manage, and he could be damn convincing. Then the tears came and overwhelmed Tony. Gibbs pulled him into a tight embrace, Tony now clinging to his shirt, soaking it with his falling tears, while Gibbs moved one of his hands in soothing circles over the younger man's back, and with the other he tried to calm his agent down more by stroking his hair.

Catharsis. "_Bless you!"_

* * *

**Author's Note**: I am eager to hear your opinions, please review! The final chapter will be up soon (there is still to come the promised bananarama).


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5:**

It took some time for Tony to calm down, finally his tears drying-out. He was still huddled in Gibbs' embrace, when there was merely an occasional hick-up left.

"Thank you, Tony, for telling me." Jethro whispered.

Tony's voice was still throaty, he wondered if everything would change now; would his boss judge him, think that he was weak?

"What's going to happen now?"

"What do you think?"

"Do you want me to resign?"

"Nope!"

Gibbs knew that opening up like this in front of him made Tony feel embarrassed, that he feared to be judged, maybe condemned, for the things he had admitted. Still Jethro was determined to handle this. He helped the young man to sit up straight again, pulled him up to sit on the chair and resumed working on his boat.

"What happened with Abby?" he asked.

"Oh…she was smothering me, she was too close, I couldn't handle it. She didn't let go. And she said something, my mom used to say. Oh god! I hurt Abby!" Tony exclaimed, realising it now for the first time.

"She'll be fine, nothing broken, just a little bruised!"

"Oh, I am so sorry. I'll have to apologize. Oh god…"

"You'll have to wait; she will want to apologize first. But, all of that can wait till tomorrow."

"But."

"It will be fine, Tony, believe me. She'll understand."

"Do I have to tell her everything?"

"No, you don't have to, but maybe you should, she cares about you a lot! You should head to bed now; you've been through a lot today."

"Yes, but can I stay and watch just a little longer?"

"Yeah, oh, I nearly forgot!" Gibbs came up to Tony and gave him a light head slap, keeping in mind the concussion. Tony just sat rubbing the back of his head.

"Why didn't you ask what that was for?"

Tony made weary gesture around himself, "It's kind of obvious."

Gibbs told him grimly, "Ask!"

"Hey, what was that for?"

"Don't take reckless risks on a chase again."

This explanation and the gaze he send after it were designed to show Tony that the rest that had occurred and had bee revealed tonight did not require punishment.

"Gotcha' boss."

XXXXX

The next morning Tony was nervous, and feeling insecure when he entered the forensic lab. He was not sure he was ready to face her.

When she saw him, Abby twirled around on her chair, bursting out happily and very relieved to see him, "Tony"

Then remembering herself and what had happened, she brought it down a lot, repeating quietly, "Tony! I'm so glad to see you."

She stood but kept herself from throwing her at him again, keeping the distance.

"I am so sorry, Tony!"

"I hurt you, I am sorry. I never meant to hurt you, Abbs. I freaked. I'm sorry."

"No, no, I was a terrible, terrible clingy brat; you should probably hurt me again."

"I won't."

"Why did you freak?"

Tony sat down on one of her stools and allowed her to sit next to him.

"I… it was too much, it kind of overwhelmed me. I felt like I was losing control. It brought up some memories, you said something, that I heard a long time ago and I freaked."

"Sorry! It wasn't my intention to hurt you!" She was such a loving and caring person, there was no chance that she would ever hurt someone intentionally.

"But I did. And I am so very sorry about that." She had again some tears in her eyes.

"You couldn't have known! Well, I do have some intimacy issues, I guess."

She laughed a little. "You talked to the bossman, right?"

He nodded.

"Good! Will you tell me one day too?" They were very close friends, they had shared a lot, he had told her some stuff from his childhood before, she maybe knew more than anybody else about him, and he trusted her. Their relationship had grown to be similar to one that siblings had.

"Maybe."

"I'm a hugger. I'll miss hugging you."

"I know. I'll miss your hugs, too. I got used to them."

"So we could still hug once in a while?"

He was slightly uncomfortable, "Maybe."

"Oh, oh! I've got it" she screamed out in her normal hyper manner again. "We do it like they do it in those sexual role plays!"

"Abbs?"

"Yeah, we'll use one of those emergency code words. If a hug gets too much for you, you just have to say the code and I'll know I have to back up, and if, the day might come, you should get to smothering for me then I'll use it. It's keeping control."

He smiled at her, she just was the coolest. "What kind of code?"

"Let's see…. What about Bananarama?"

"Great! Bananarama it is!"

"Can I hug you now?"

"Okay."

**The End**.

* * *

**Author'****s Note:** My second story is finished! Juchu!

Special thanks again to **XX-Samantha-XX** who was the betareader for this and did a great job.

Please let me know what you think about 'Control Freak', I really would like opinions, feedback and constructive criticism. Just tell me what you liked and what not. I want to write more in the future (this is a lot of fun) and your comments will help me to improve.

**Please Review!**


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